"You shall have three days to complete this task. Three days hence, I will arrive in my chariot, my new beloved Honda CRV, to pick up the cake. You must be ready with it...OR,face the consequences of my WRATH!" My steely gaze met her threatening one. In the vein of all great heroines, I refused to be cowed.
The next day, I set forth in search of the tools and ingredients that I will need for my task. First, I needed to get the magic 9 inch springform pan from my sister, the ruthless Layii. The magic pan helps with even baking and easy removal of the delicate cheesecake. It would definitely help in my task. However, though we shared the same bloodlines, Layii was merciless - only cold hard cash can appease her. But Layii and I had just survived flea market hell together. A hell which left me battered and bruised. And in that weakened state, I had summoned my remaining strength to perform more sales to get both of us out of the red. Thus comforted that I will not be turned away from my request, I initiated the sms ritual of contact to Layii.
”Sister Layii, lend me your magic pan so that I can complete my task for the goddess Aza…”
The sms reply came fast and furious. “If I remember to bring it. And I get 10% cut….
In the end, our blood bond prevailed and Layii conjured up her magic pan. Now that I was armed with the right tools, my next step was to obtain the secret ingredients. Since obtaining the lore of baking through many trials past, I already knew where to go to harvest what I needed. Soon, I was ready to make the cake. I fired up the kiln and my hands took on a life of their own. With the recipe runes guiding me, I made my measurements. I encountered moments of anxiety - my cheap mixer groaned under the weight of beating 32 ounces of cream cheese. But I persevered – a heroine never gives up after all. Summoning all my skills, a creamy batter finally emerged before me. I poured the batter into the magic pan, whispered a soft prayer to the Baking God, and released everything to the will of the mighty hot kiln.
Alas, it was not to be! The terrifying “Crack-en”, beast of the cheesecakes, third cousin of the Kraken who got turned to stone by Perseus using Medusa’s head, reared its ugly head! Its huge monstrous maw struck a deep horrendous gorge in the cake.
Attack of the "Crack-en"
“Sleeping Oracle, hear my plea! Do not transform into a pig yet! I, the heroine of this story, who is tasked with delivering a cheesecake to Aza, have encountered the “Crack-en”! What should I do?”
The Sleeping Oracle was already in a horizontal position, and starting to snort. Persistently, I sounded my call for help…once, twice, thrice. Finally, he opened a reluctant eye.
“Aiyo. Just give Aza the cake with the “Crack-en” lor…. It is home made after all…”
“No Sleeping Oracle, I am the heroine. I must DEFEAT the “Crack-en” and make everything all right!”
“Aiya. Then, think what you can put on top lor… some icing or something”
My mind raced through the precious baking lore. Yes, yes, it just might work. “You may be right, Sleeping Oracle, maybe I can do something with some whipped cream… I remember the runes – there is something there with candied fruit too…. Yes, maybe I can do something similar” My heart filled with hope again. Snorts came in reply from the Sleeping Oracle – he had turned into a pig.
Quickly and deftly I labored. Soon, I had crystallized lemon slices, lemon syrup and whipped cream ready to do battle with the “Crack-en”.
“Take that, you foul monster!” I flung the whipped cream into its ugly jaws.
Battle with the "Crack-en"
“Begone beast! Never show yourself here ever again!” I dealt the final blow, tossing candied lemon slices across its twisted face. And with that, the “Crack-en” was gone. I had defeated it.
The Final Blow
On the third and final day, Aza arrived in her shiny new chariot. “Yoo hoo! Where’s the cheesecake?”
Silently, I handed over the cake, stored in its precious box. “There was a “Crack-en” but I defeated it”.
Aza smiled prettily “Of course you did, you ARE the heroine after all!”. Off she zoomed to the party.
I had completed my task but there was still one final hurdle – did anyone at the party notice the “Crack-en”? Did it rear its head again? Did the cheesecake still taste good after the “Crack-en” attack?
The next day, the goddess appeared in front of me as I was mulling over this. “”Crack-en”? What “Crack-en”? Everyone LOVED the cake! Now, what flavor should I get next?....”
THE END
footnote : movie rights open for sale
3 comments:
Ha ha. I can relate to that. Back in school, for our SRT class assignment - swiss roll - our teacher told us if the cake cracks up when we roll it, just cut it up and stack it up. Voila - kek lapis.
i thought you had to come up with cake no 2 when you accidentally cut up cake no 1? you mean the 2nd cake was attacked by crack-en?
Don't forget my 10%...
Post a Comment